Far from me being the kind of person to read fairy tales, I actually picked up one over the weekend, Angela Carter's Book of Fairy Tales, by which The Observer said, " Trumps Grimm, with a world-wide selection of savage and funny stories ". Needless to say I was intrigued, by the usage of the word savage. Of course if what you had in mind was the senseless happily ever after schmuck that you get nowadays which hold the seal of the Grimm's fairy tales, you're in for a surprise then. Savage is not used to describe the recent development of fairy tales, more like docile, demure, happy and unreliastic to the point of absurdity, very appropriate for kids of course without a doubt, used by parents to either help or assuage the feeling that slowly gnaws at them that their kids will soon grow up and soon be as jaded and cynical as the next adult. Fairy Tales, or rather tales of the old, were in actual fact very barbaric, savage and crude to say the least. The main idea behind all of this, was to instigate fear in people, so as that they would have proper guidelines to abide by. Thus explains the whole chopping of legs, sacrificing love for nothing, eating of children and yada yada. But through time, as I've said, all of it has change to give children optimistic views on life.
So I picked up the book, with the hopes that it does trump the original Grimm's fairy tales. And true to the words by The Observer, yeah, it pretty much homes in on the whole savagery bit. Though the tales by the Innuits, were very disturbing to say the least. One fine example;
Once there lived an old woman who desired her son's pretty young wife. This son was a hunter who often would be gone for many days at a time. Once, while he was gone, the old woman sat down and made herself a penis out of sealbone and skins. She fastened this penis to her waist and showed it to her daughter-in-law, who exclaimed: ' How nice...' Then they slept together. Soon the old woman was going out to hunt in a big skin kayak just like her son. And when she came back, she would take off her clothes and move her breasts up and down, saying: ' Sleep with me, my dear little wife. Sleep with me...'
It happened that the son returned from his hunting and saw his mother's seals lying in front of the house. ' Whose seals are these? ' he asked of his wife.
' None of your business, ' she replied.
Being suspicious of her, he dug a hole behind their house and hid there. He figured that some hunter was claiming his wife in his absence. Soon, however, he saw his mother paddling home in her kayak with a big hooded seal. Mother and son never caught anything but big hooded seals. The old woman reached land and took off her clothes, then moved her breasts up and down, saying: ' My sweet little wife, kindly delouse me...'
The son was not pleased by his mother's behaviour. He came out of hiding and struck the old woman so hard that he killed her. ' Now ', he said to his wife, ' you must come away with me because our home has a curse on it. '
The wife began to quiver and shake all over. ' You've killed my dear husband, ' she cried. And would not stop crying.
Gross ain't it? This is actually one of few Innuit tales I have come across while reading the book. All of the stories always had this whole penis made of sealbone thingamajig in common. I don't know about you, but that's not classified under savage at all, more like demented and bordering on psychotic behaviour.
But my point about this is that, the olde tales were really sick and demented, and honestly now blogging about it just makes me feel sick too. I'll edit this when I have the stomach for it.
Had a discussion with a friend recently about Friendster and MySpace. About how girls with good pics is a bloody magnet for pervs especially when their profile is for public viewing. So we decided that she would put her Friendster profile for public viewing and I will put my MySpace profile for viewing too, us both being avid surfers, it's only inevitable that our pics depicts us having fun albeit in either beachwear or partywear. No sooner had we put it on public, we have gotten some really serious perverted messages. Which just proves to say, when I retorted the other day on my lack of initiative to use both Friendster and MySpace, it's short of advertising oneself, of course I am contradicting myself seeing that I do have both spaces, but I do have reasons of my own for having them.
Though it is funny that they would think that they would even have a chance of having a proper conversation with both of us, but it was amusing reading the leery and perverted messages nevertheless. They lack tact, charm, suaveness and above all the confident to actually be decent people or players for that matter. Which brings me to the topic of suaveness and charm.
Last night over drinks, and oohhh the best vodka I had, damnit Eric and Ryan, you guys are spoiling me, we talked about playing around, fooling around, cutting a few notches, flings, whatever else you kids calls it nowadays. Eric by nature is a suave and charming man, being 36, having went through his own soap opera drama of a life, he's pretty jaded and lackadaisical over matters close to the heart, and really doesn't give a fuck and a half about what others have to say. Ryan on the other hand is a self proclaimed 'innocent', bah yeah right. Anyways, the topic of playing around soon came out, when me and Ryan has observed Eric relentlessly 'investing' ( is what he calls it ), in this chick over the phone. Needless to say I would like to think that somebody gotten lucky last night.
What does suaveness and charm has to do with playing around or having victims as Ryan so aptly coined it? Easy, the nicer you are to a person, and charm the person with how smooth and confident your words are the easier you get what you want. Don't believe me? Girls, how many of you have fallen 'prey' to guys like these, who talks you into bed with them? Hahahahah, quite a number I know. But I would like to say this in defence of men, not because I adore them, coz truth is, I believe in if you can't beat them join them shit, Men are bastards! Yeah I know I'm not defending them now, but here's the clincher, Women are stupid! Hell yeah we are. I said this aloud to both the guys last night, to which they just agreed coz they're male chauvinistic pigs. But wait a minute before any of you people or rather men and women who are my friends and reads this blog, and feel like slashing me into a thousand pieces for having said so, let me explain the logic behind the 'Men are bastards, but women are stupid' bit.
You see, men are bastards for not telling the women what they really want, that all they want is probably just a good shag or a fuck buddy or whatever that comes to mind for all victims. Women are stupid because they don't recognise all the tale-tell signs of a player, having claimed most of the time that they believed in true love and it's special, yada yada. So? Where does that leave us now? Aha, my logic in avoiding all of this horrible name calling is by honesty. Oh I can see jaws falling agape, and people berating this rather idiotic idea, especially known players. Truth is, by laying all your cards on the table be it as a player or an 'innocent', we can all save the trouble of this, the uncalled heartache, the crying, the player feeling smugged about his or her latest conquests, etc etc.
For example, a male player meets a woman, they're attracted to each other, he tells her he wants nothing more than just a good shag and fling, she can either refuse or agree on whatever grounds she has, but when she agrees it is totally by poor judgement if she decided that she might be able to change his ways and then when he leaves cries her heart out. So players be honest about what you want, for the most part I will say most of you are never honest about what you want in fear you might not get what you want. I say having no trouble to cope with clingy and sobby victims is way more peaceful and fun than having to put up with that just coz you're horny. And to the victims, heck don't get yourself involved unless you also just want a shag and the exact same things the other person wants. Coz people don't change for others. Chuck that misconception out kay. It doesn't work that way.
See, logical and simple. And oh to players who practises honesty, don't feel bad when the other person totally derails from the original agreement, chalk it up to bad judgement on that person's behalf, and well walk out unscathed. For the victims, look, it has already happened, what do you do? Just move on, coz karma does work, and it will bite the person in the ass, and for the most part, you will most probably be there to witness the downfall of said predator. Take it from me, who was once a victim, yonks ago and now a practiser of logic when it comes to fooling around. Not to say I will not get my just desserts, maybe I already have, maybe I will, but every actions there are repercussions and knowing that makes it all better for me.
So where was I about suaveness and charm? Oh yeah, it helps having both, it really does, heheheh, it has worked so far. But to women aye, you gals do know that being a player for you gals are like stealing candy from a baby? It's easy, way more easier than men pulling it off. Saying this to both guys, it was no surprise when they both agreed. Though I would say, I think Eric is a far more experienced and better player than yours truly.
Again, what was the whole point of all of this? I forgot. Oh yeah, my love for vodka. HAHAHHA.
Miss Izzy said it perfectly in her post;
And I quote:
" I think this is something a lot of people don’t get about me. No one I’ve dated has ever really understood that I’m not a lying, cheating sort of person. The previous relationships I had, never worked out because everyone I dated knew I wasn’t exclusive. But that’s because none of them asked to be exclusive. And then they accusse me of being untrustworthy. I mean, what do people expect? Is it so hard to open your mouth and ask someone for something? And is it so hard to stick to a thing you said? I know we’re not machines and talking to someone isn’t the same as pushing a button that says ‘make me behave like this’ but while I know people have vast latitudes for what they think and feel and fantasize about, I know we’ve only got one body and I think it’s what you do with it in physical space that really matters. And you can push buttons verbally for that. At the end of the day, it’s either you do something, or you don’t. And why should anything else matter? I don’t know. Man. I fucking know it kind of matters to other people, and to me as well… I like sitting here thinking that even though I’m alone at the moment, there are people out there that love me. And I’m glad they are thinking it, and the intricacies and complications and the nitty gritty details of the matter don’t matter. The fact is, they are thinking about me. And of course I could be a total loner and imagine all of that, but that will be just like trying to imagine mermaids exists just because you’re not in the ocean. You know.
Maybe not. "Unquote, Miss Izzy of the Sarong Party Girl fame.
Problem is though, when you were asked to be exclusive, and the other party refused to behave in a way that's accustomed to exclusivity. So where does that leave one person?
This holidays, yeah I'll admit that I spend it with my family, a friend from penang and an interview. Yeah it gets lonely, when most of your friends are either attached or surfing at the east coast then, but you cope. It's not the end of the world. But loneliness does have a way of catching you off guard, I still stand by what I believe, and that is, I will do what I can to make myself happy and trouble free. It's sad to be depending on others to provide joy and amusement to you, but it's even sadder to have a person around just coz the idea of not being lonely is ever so appealing.
Oh the interview? Let's just put it this way, I may have chewed more than I bargained, in a good way. So here's to a new year full of surprises and hopefully a new job as Project Manager. Woooohooooo!!! More me time for surf holidays and more me time to grow as a person, a surfer and a good manager (hopefully, lets keep our fingers crossed).
p/s: have this sudden need to bomb the hills...heheheh.
" I reckon we should have a treasure hunt in your place one day ", said Mr Evil.
" Let me guess, you haven't even unpacked most of everything ", lil boy said.
" Woman, you should unpack and look through everything, and you'll find tons of stuff ", all my gal pals said.
" Have you even bothered checking through all your paperbags? ", Mum asked.
" If only you are abit more organised then you wouldn't waste money and time doing all of this ", an old flame said while I was running around haphazardly trying to get ready.
Right, I am guilty as charged, for having a rather lax attitude towards belongings. In the past, I had this really bad habit of buying stuff and leaving it at the foot of the bed, and running around to get ready to go out again, or I am again late for something, by the end of it or everything, the room will be a mess and I will clean it albeit super fast and chuck all the paperbags containing stuff in the cupboard or the makeshift cupboard I used to own back in the old days, without even going through the bags thus forgetting about it. Luckily for me, I do have some of my mom's genes other than shoe shopping, that is to keep paperbags.
So again, it was no surprise when I sometimes, or rather quite a number of times this year find make up or clothes that I never wore in my paper bags. I.e, my birthday do last Friday, while talking to my pals about what to wear, I was again contemplating buying new clothes, that is till one of them said " Mix and match dear, learn to do so and look through your stuff too, you might have a few stuff here and there again ".
And oh boy, is she right. I found my entire set of pareos, a few earrings, and a diamante choker which I have never worn before too, and I haven't even went through everything yet. But I did find something that was perfect for that night. A cute short denim mini from Zara, and a black top with strings of pearls attached to it, making it seem that I have a really nice long necklace. Contrary to popular belief, the top is marvelous and chic, and I don't need to accessorise, it doesn't look datin-ny at all, I wouldn't buy that kinda clothes lord forbid. The top and mini combo looked good especially with my stilletoes. The mini understated the top nicely, and the stilletoes, well lets say, it feels great to still be able to look at my legs, albeit the scars and scabs, while thinking it still looks alright.
So my new year's resolution is to be more organized. Now where did I leave my pink boardshorts and PSP at? Hhhmmm I have a sudden urge to go and kidnap some of the gerbils that belongs to Charm's neighbour. Neah, I'll probably misplaced them too.
Oh Oh and, I was given a short makeover, now I have nice eyebrows and a better way of applying make up too. Thanks to the day out we all had on Saturday.
Mr Evil did say something about my top though. " If you can misplaced the attached string of faux pearls, you're really something ".
Why thank you,* curtsies.
Note to self: If ever lose surfboards, will personally put self in the worst sort of trauma, by watching ugly ass obese people wearing bikinis at the beach and burn eyes out. Or watch Jay and Silent Bob for the one millionth and one time, the part where Jay stuck his dick in between his legs and starts singing. Funny but traumatic nevertheless. Reminds me of Dogma somehow.
It's my party and I'd cry if I want, cry if I want to.
First part of me turning 25 happened in Cherating 2 weeks ago.
Thanks to my babes, Kim and Charm, the second installment, the KL part 2 is happening tonight.
It ain't going to be big, but it's definitely high up there, as in Skybar.
Too bad, big brah and the others can't make it, but they made my birthday in Cherating something not to forget and not to mention, terte as in water and tepung filled thingy. But I'll be seeing and staying with big brah this weekend, if I'm not going down to Singapore. AAhhhh, Ferry Corsten and Steve Lawler. Utter bliss.
This is indeed the life. On and 18 year old kid, history. What can I say, I don't have the time nor the energy to layan an 18 year old. Cute though he is.
She walks in through the doors leading to the adjacent section outside, and saw him. He had his hand over his face, and was shielding his face from her outburst of laughter. She walked over and ruffled his hair, or what's left of it. And she laughed. He was giving her the resigned look.
" Yeah, I know, I looked bloody gay ", he says.
" Oh my god, your locks, all of it is gone, what were you thinking when you did this? ", she asked.
" Hey, it wasn't me, it was that stupid gay dude who gave me this haircut ", he retorted.
She spent most of the evening laughing at him and telling him that her interest has definitely dawdled to a mere nothing now. He was getting flustered. They ate, and she chided him for being such a snob, while he kept on saying it was her who has been such a snob. He corrected her ever so often, whenever she said, it WAS a fling, by saying it's still is. As she has said, her interest has tapered off quite alot. Again he was getting quite flustered.
They walked around abit after dinner, around the bookstore, for a fling she thought, he's pretty good company, albeit a bit young. He was getting flustered again, he tried to kiss her, and she stood there stoical.
" Aaaaww, interest right? ", he muttered.
She was having fun seeing him squirmed, and being the person he saw that right through her.
" You're being cocky now, I don't know whether it's the way you're walking, or by that smirk on your face, but you're being bloody cocky now ", he said.
" Mmmhhmmm ", she replied.
" We'll see later, when we get back to your place ", he said.
She ignored him and continued walking. After awhile or so, they decided to go back to hers. In short, he made the effort to instigate her interest. Though the running joke for the night was, how much turned off she is by his ghastly hair.
Tired. Sickly. But very much alive, thank you. And really really have chilled out.
Waves, fucking gnarly in Kijal, but fucking huge overhead close in glassed waves in Quarry.
Am I feeling better now even while being sick and having wiped out like maybe a gazillion times in Kijal and wreaking vengeance in Quarry? Hell Yeah!!!! So blardy stoked man!
Story time. Now.
" Arrrrggggggghhhhhhhh, screw you guys, man ", she screamed.
She had just been floured and splashed with ice cold water.
" Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!! ", everybody retorted.
She looked like the bride of frankenstein ( if he ever lived long enough to have one that is ), a far cry to just a few moments ago, when she was leaning against him, and he was massaging her head, due to horrible headache she had all day long. He was laughing now, and she was drenched, and was trying to figure out a way to get all of them. One of them, suggested that she goes lean against everybody and rubbed the flour off with them. Needless to say it was funny.
She decided to leave the bar, to go back have a shower and remove all the gunk in her hair. Being the vainpot that she is, all she could think of was how much hair she had to desecrate to totally remove all the flour. Sighs. The owner of the chalet she was staying, helped her out, it took hours and hours, but finally everything was done, and she looked into the mirror thinking out aloud, " Daymn, there goes my locks ".
She went out of the chalet, to see everybody was still happily talking and making fun of everything. She saw him being there, and sat beside him. He smiled and said,
" Now that's alot better ain't it? ", he said.
" Yeah right, just look at my hair, it looks wretched, and only god knows how many have to be pulled off ", she answered.
" Neah you look fine, your hair's alright still, it's just wet ", he said.
" Yeah right ", she said.
" Trust me, when it dries, I'll show you it's still thick, I did promised that your headache will be gone tonight right? And it did right? ", he said.
" Remarkably, yeah it did ", she answered.
She went to the kitchen, and he followed, she started making herself coffee, and they started talking and laughing. Occasionally he would leaned over to tickle her.
It was getting late, and they were told to move from the kitchen to lounge area, seeing that the owner's kid was getting into bed.
They started talking with everybody, making occasional jokes here and there, and she translated most of what they were saying for him.
" It's nice having a translator for once ", he says.
Soon everybody was leaving, leaving only the both of them. They were still talking and making fun of each other. He tickled her again, and she avoided it, when suddenly,
" I'm going to be impulsive now ", he said while leaning over pulled her closer and kissed her.
" Why? I mean what was that for? ", she asked still feeling his lips over hers.
" For being cool, and proving what I said is right, that your hair is still thick as normal ", he said. And he kissed her again.
End of story.
Evil: Break said 18 year old heart with no mercy.
Good: He's a sweet young and naive boy, wholesome, lets not destroy him for others or worse turn him gay.
Evil: I resent you for punishing me for the cheatings of your previous gf, and I do have wandering eyes. I have been honest about that.
Good: In all fairness, you do have issues, but so do I, we need to sort this out on our own before taking the plunge, and you're ok in fact. Not a dissapointment as you think I think of you.
Evil: I love leading the non monogamous non exclusive thingy that I call life.
Good: Till when am I going to be like this?
Evil: I don't believe in relationships.
Good: I have to have a bit of faith in people.
Conclusion: No frigging idea
Space: I need more and more space now to figure things out.
Love: Prolly, but I disacknowledged anything that will make me lesser of the woman that I am today.
Surf: Always, anywhere, my life. Take it or leave it.
My hawaaiian looking brah: You have the whole package, you surf, you're smart, you're attractive, you're fun, you cook really well, and you're cool, whats the problem then with having someone? There's no shortage in men, you have them at your beck and call. Why not try it out with one of them?
Me: Everything about me is, brah. Everything. Coz it's just an illusion of niceties before you really get to know the person and find irreconcilable differences, and the whole equation is therefore screwed. Forego the trouble. Yes, I do think like a man. I did learn from the best.
Listening to: Dj Tiesto ft Andain - Beautiful Things