Bloody hell
Monday, April 30, 2007
2:42 PM
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Due to last minute plans and me being last minute all the time, I was forced to leave on the 2nd instead of the 1st with everybody else, well at least, they'll carry my boards there first. Hehehehehe. Goodie. Will be sending them to the airport with all the boards first, then one of them will pick me up from the airport once I reach there. Good thing about the change in time, I won't have to rush around like a mad person to settle everything. ;)

Off topic, Mr Evil gave me a piggy back ride through Midvalley the other day, Cheng Hon upon seeing that stated that and I quote " I also want, I also want ", unquote, of course we told him to get it from Alvin, which was really funny a dude giving another dude a piggy back ride. Coolest bit about piggy back ride was nobody in the mall found it weird or stared at us bunch weirdly. Mr Evil carried me quite a distance. Mr Evil is strong, bijaksana and lengchai. ( Psstt I am obligated to state that, LOL ).

Anyways, there will be a mentawai or nias trip in august, I reckon, I could drop by bali then to see Carmen and surf with the gals, before I leave for the mentawai trip. Just hardcore sheer surfing, cool, no partying and just the waves. I kinda detest partying nowadays, over and done with I reckon. I don't mind gigs, or events, but no more clubbing man, and somehow, I only have taste for wine nowadays, which doesn't do jack to me, and that's why I love it. A glass a day, that's what I have been practising.

I'm itching for the waves man now, gawd I could almost smell the ocean breeze.


Lizz



Si je suis un pecheur, la chevalerie me montrent la maniere d'aller
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
5:53 PM
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Actuellement je suis dans quelque chose que je ne devrais pas etre, je sais que je suis lie pour etre detruite plus que toute autre chose.

La vie est si etrange, le travail est-il encore plus dur, la vie d'amour ? Non existant. Mais c'est la vie ou j'ai figuree. Je vais de nouveau a ou la moitie de ma vie est. Je ne sais pas elle va avoir lieu comme ce temps autour, mais je ne m'inquiete pas.

Il a appele, texte et email. J'ai repondu a aucun. Je ne suis plus confortable avec lui, il veut etre autour moi pense. Mais il ne peut pas me donner de ce que j'ai besoin.

Je veux etre libre et errer le monde. Je me sens vide, je veux surfer jusqu'a ce qu'il y ait aucun demain.

De ce que j'ai besoin est un battement vers le bas. Pour etre souleve, haleter, a desoriente. Je dois sentir mon coeur battre perilleux pendant que je me tiens sur le sable chaud mou, attendant pour barboter dehors. Pour pouvoir se sentir effraye et etourdi en meme temps. Etre jete en l'air autour de l'eau du fond. Le besoin de puissance persistante et impitoyable de cela qui vient avec etre un masochiste interieur en neoprene. J'ai besoin de toute la cela.

Mes poumons sont aleses de la fumee inhalee des cigarettes et des routes. Ils desirent ardemment pour etre etires et inondes, apporte au point de sauter. Mon esprit est alese du bourdon des expositions d'entretien de matin et des personnes m'entourant parlant. Je ne vois se deplacer de bouches mais aucune voix etant emiss dehors. Mon corps a ete donne des sedatifs par les nuits et les loisirs en retard. J'ai besoin d'eau comme j'ai besoin d'air.

La ma vie et amour.


Lizz



Aggresiveness and being bullied
Saturday, April 14, 2007
4:22 PM
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I reckon that if any of my friends were asked to describe me in one word, they would use aggro or aggressive. Which is true, by nature I am a very aggressive person, and this is probably due to circumstances more than anything else. At one point of my life I was rather a doormat, I hated it, it made me misreable, more than anything. Over time I learnt to be very straightforward and blunt.

I wasn't kidding when I said to my new employers that I don't put up with being bullied, I'm not so diplomatic when it comes to answering to the call of being bullied. I do not under any circumstances condone to bullying a person or a company. For me more than anything, I believe in defending my developers or the people that work for me, I will not side the client, and in that sense I was told by one of the greatest bosses I ever worked for that I am rather a loose cannon. I do not cater to things that is deemed as not right, even in good will, because I believe that you'll be mollycoddling the person or client when you do so and they will step all over you.

I don't see why is there a need for us to let issues or problems by the client slide, when they clearly nit picked at all the mistakes or issues occurs from our end. But that is the asian way of doing business, I didn't have to put up with this when I was working with Atos Origin nor Schlumberger then, being all MNC and stuff the culture was very different. But I can understand why they were able to do that, as they were big enough and loosing a client means nothing seeing that they were catering to a rather niche market. Having said that however, how in the hell are we as a company supposed to be taken seriously when we let issues and sheer negligence on the client's side slide?

We have done more than our fair share when it comes to aiding them, and the thanks that we have gotten was nothing. More often than not we find the asian clientele prone to hanging an ultimatum which is not justified at all. Being threaten with phrases such as " You are answerable when it fails " for an issue that's clearly not ours, is part and parcel of working with an incompetent crowd. Diplomacy doesn't work in cases such as these, because these people do not understand the idea of holding responsibilities for one own's actions.

For that I am called aggro, which is fine in my books. The reasons I believe in all this issues occuring is nobody has really stamp down their foot saying " Enough is enough ", I for one has stomped down, new I may be, but naive and stupid I am not. I don't have the need to be liked to do my job, as I am holding responsibility over my work unlike others.


Lizz



So the story is.....
Monday, April 09, 2007
2:27 PM
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After a couple of weeks over that incident, I'm ok, granted that I don't like talking about it. So I ignore alot of people who have heard from others who saw me being violent for the first time, asking and prodding. Alot were angry over what happen, while some decided to take a neutral stance in it seeing that the culprit though how wrong he was and still is, is a friend of theirs. I have stopped wishing death and physical suffering on him a couple of days after the incident. But does that mean, I won't seek out my vengeance? No, one thing I have always practised from the old days was, never revealed who your allies or contacts are. Be discrete about it, the world is small of course, but it always is with your own help, so that in turn doesn't help at all when it comes to getting things done. And I have always prided myself in being able to hatch and plan a devious plan without getting any trail leading back to me. The money, the life, in short everything I have attained have somehow or rather been a product of such a manifestation.

I might not be able to hurt him in order to stop the cycle of violence inflicting on people I care for, but I can make sure he hurts in a non violent way, its either through him directly or through the people he cares for. Somehow the later option is more fitting, as it hurts more when a person sees their loved ones paying for their evil deeds.

I don't belive in the whole " Don't stoop as low as whatever " schmuck, I believe in getting it done with finesse and smartness. Coz at the end of the day, how you inflict your vengeance portrays yourself as a person, and I'd rather be thought as manipulative, conniving, cunning and a heartless bitch than using my fists, because physical wounds heals, but emotional wounds lingers on. As my favourite saying " To err is human, but to get even is divine ". Though I do know I would've been able to send him to ICU had it not been for Bryan.


Lizz