Waves are kicking in
Thursday, January 25, 2007
11:10 AM
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The waves are kicking in, apparently the forecast over last weekend wasn't so right, but then again, what with the earthquake up in Japan, not so surprised after all.

Today's kinda like my last day at work, it's been a funny couple of days, Shin Yi stayed with me from Sunday till last night, where else her papa has been staying in the other room from Monday night till today. Sent her to the station last night, before her papa and me went out to have bak kut teh. Kinda weird being around him, what with not having her around.

No, we are not seeing each other, good thing bout us being surfers, is there is no rules, I mean, as he's said, we can hang out with each other, sleep over at each others' place, hug, kiss, cuddle and all of that without having the preassure of having a relationship. Which is true, I don't feel the preassure of trying to please the other person, in fact we openly talk about things, which is a nice change to the senseless mindfucking I've accustomed myself to, don't get me wrong I still enjoy a round of mindfucking every now and then, but I'd rather just like feel comfortable and not be so much on my guard when it comes to this kinda things.

That's why with them, I feel so at ease, I don't need to step up my game like I do when it comes to corporate men. There's no need to categorised what we have, nor label it, which is when you think about it, a hell lot easier of maintaining then labelling it under any relationship lingos. So it was quite easy for me to just stay at home with him, and watch the telly, though it was funny when he said, " Right, you watch The Mummy Returns with me, and I'll re-watch American Idol with you ", Deal. In fact we both watched Grey's Anatomy together. To which he finds it very amusing, when I said, I will make a great boy, to which he just retorted, " You'll be an even worse player than Khairil, if you were a boy, I mean you'll be getting different babes every night man ", Cool. This came about while watching Grey's Anatomy about this tween girl who had testis instead of ovaries.

Somehow I realized that, it's fun, being in this what society would call limbo, coz it's neither here nor there. I see it as us being us, like normal, a part of my life which I've always liked and loved, my friendship with my guy friends. It's simple, uncomplicated, honest, easy, no mindfucking needed, no defenses needed, basically I don't feel threatened. It's peaceful, albeit of course there's drama here and there, but well shit happens. But it's still peaceful.

Funny bit though, over bak kut teh, we find ourselves talking about our dads whom maybe knows each other, and my work, and his work, and how haunted T9 is, hehehe, he experienced it himself.

Need to pack up my stuff, today is officially my last day, feeling rather lethargic, what with the surfing and having guests over. Waves are in, so toodles!


Lizz



Destination: Undisclosed
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
3:56 PM
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I'm getting sick of KLCC, and Hugo Boss. Saw this adorable pair of shoes at Miss Sixty, 30% off, comes down to 4 hundred plus, tempted, in fact it's booked by me, but still am contemplating on whether should I get it, seeing it's a bit overpriced for a pair of Miss Sixty's. Regardless, I'll think about it.

Though I love the new mascara I've gotten, all this while I have been using the Estee Lauder Magnascopic or something along that lines mascara, somehow this time around, I've decided getting the new Estee Lauder Projectionist. I don't need to use curlers at all, incredible and superb seeing I have this ridiculous fear for curling my eyelashes with a curler. I know stupid ain't it.

Shin Yi's been staying over at my place, found out quite a few things about my irritating suitor, hahahah, evil as it seems, I really don't care much about this, kinda scary, in fact it's a turn off, when he said something along the lines " I'll be travel surfing abit the next few months, then we'll see how it goes, how WE do, coz I want to be there with you, so I'll move there ", it freaked the living daylights out of me. Riigghhtt I know, everybody thinks that I'm leading him on, believe me when I said, I told him off so many times, in fact nothing has changed, I find his ardour and diligence rather amusing though. Nothing prepared me for this next line, " I know there is going to be a WE, an US, so I would really like your cooperation on this please ", talk about being cocky as hell. " Oh, I do know about your ways with men, in fact everybody knows about it in the community, but it doesn't matter to me now, though I hope you'll change it ", MUAHAHAHAHAHAAH rrrriiiiiittteeee, since when do I ever listen to men, lest one who's younger.

Though Steve and Shin Yi was shocked as hell, when they heard me telling him to buzz off, when he asked me what I was doing, and I said driving, and he said he'd rather call me later when I'm not driving. Yeap, I told him to buzz off, or rather I just snapped at him, to which he just said " Hey, I don't appreciate that, I was just concern over your safety what with you driving and talking on your cell ", well buster, I don't fucking care. Yeah, so came along a guy who can actually put up with me telling them to fuck off, so here it is, what do I say to this? I want to amuse myself, seeing how far he can be stretched. It's hard especially when he doesn't stay in Malaysia. But it's fun as hell.

But someone last night commented something about it when we were watching House together on the sofa, snuggling with each other, " What do you think the guy would do if he knew we are both happily being like this watching the telly? ", my answer: fuck it, not my problem, if he asks I'll just answer. To which he replied, " But you do know that we know each other right? ", and I just said " And your point is? ", to which he just shrugged and gave up on the topic.

Shin Yi started calling me and that someone from last night, papa and mama. Riiigghhhttt, though, according to her during lunch,when she bid good bye cheekily to him seeing she WAS supposed to leave for Muadzam,( she didn't though ), he said " Papa belongs to mama, don't kacau kacau ", hhmmm... funny coz he was just walking beside me to go to work when this supposedly happened, oh well, I don't know.

Funny bit, my relationship felt apart in early november, his felt apart in late december, I know his ex girlfriend well, though she's not around in Malaysia anymore, it's still weird having her ex around me sometimes. He taught Shin Yi another way of moving on is having flings, and I agreed. Not everybody can do it without feeling remorseful, it takes a certain hardness to do so. Though I do wonder, where do me and him stand, seeing yeah we are quite affectionate to each other, but we haven't said anything about flings or anything, in fact other than being affectionate we didn't do anything else. Oh well, sooner or later a talk will come about, come what may.

Oh yeah, as for the title for this post, heheheh, goodbye Malaysia, from next week! ( *crossing my fingers hoping it'll work out ) for awhile at least.


Lizz



Comics
Monday, January 22, 2007
11:54 AM
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I love comics, I can spend hours by myself at Kinokuniya, just reading comics, mind you we are not talking about spandex wearing tight undies on the outside superheroes comics'. More rather towards a particular genre whereby compelling tales about rapture, fear, carnality, desperation, doom, history, spirit, and occasionally salvation, that somewhat have made a significant dent and influence in the 60 over years comics' history kinda of comics.

Neil Gaiman is one of many comic writers that has dabbled in this somewhat wildly imaginative and downright radical side of the comics' industry, including others such as Jamie Delano notable for his Hellblazer, and Dave Sim of Cerebus fame to name a few.

So what does all of these writers, Art Spiegelman of Maus, Dave Sim, Chester Brown of Yummy Fur, The Hernandez' of Love and Rockets, Jamie Delano and Neil Gaiman of The Sandman piece have in common? It's the way they all had brought in mythological plots, devices and characters to their ever splendid examples of graphic storytelling. It's an intricate design of stories delving into mythos and somewhat more often than not the political, history, and subconscious level of the human pysche.

I could go on and on with this, but one thing's for sure despite the dark morbidity harboured by all of these comics, it has somewhat taught me a thing or two in a rather sick and twisted way but good in a way too. I grew up reading The Sandman, Sin City and Hellblazer, Fantastic Four though I had a few never really caught my fancy, it was never the super heroes fantasias imbued with extraordinary power, gifts or sometimes curses and saving the day stories that nicked on my interest long enough. My first comic was an old 1960's edition of the classic X-Men, an old edition which was given to me by my dad, which has some differences with the current Uncanny X-Men, such as Jean Grey was known as Marvel Girl, and characters such as Wolverine and Storm was actually introduced in the 1975 and later editions, after having the 1960's editions cancelled due to low readership. The history of writers were long, ranging from Stan Lee of Spider-Man to Chris Claremont of the current Fantastic Four. Nevertheless, X-Men did caught my attention for awhile, while I was happily guzzling other comics, but soon enough I found a redundancy in the ever growing industry of graphic novels, it seems that people were more susceptible to latching themselves onto the 'someday we will all get salvation and be saved' concept. In a way it reminded of their faith in a higher entity for salvation and the need to be saved. I was only probably around 10 or 11 then, having tire myself of the endless tirades of heroism, despites the drama injected to all the comics.

I was in search of a new genre, one that was different and that could still open up my mind on a different level. Having said this though, I was only 10 or 11, I would not have been able then to put this boredom ever so eloquently into words as I do now, but I was bored of it being mundane. My dad came back, from work one day, holding a newspaper or bulletin of some sort, me being the curious kid I was I went through it, and soon stumbled upon a piece, a review written for The Sandman, I was delighted, needless to say, I basically forced my dad, who was tired of travelling and working, to get it for me. Now this was hard in the early 90s, as comics are not easily available, but my dad managed to get it for me. And as they say the rest is history, it started out with The Sandman, and went on to Hellblazer and so on. It was probably the most painful time for me when I read the comics and it was ending in 1996 if I'm not wrong, but it was inevitable, as a poet once said " A story can't be told, Until a story's done ", thus end The Sandman run.

It's years ago, and I'm still happily reading, re-reading, because graphic novels such as these, is deciphered and comprehended differently when a person is in a different phase of their lives, and this is probably the biggest and most notable characteristic of such a genre.

I spent a good couple of hours scouring Kinokuniya yesterday, while waiting for a friend, in search of that illusive comic that might give me the same passion for The Sandman, mind you not as a replacement, but as something to go on by and enjoyed though on a different level. Though The Sandman has ended, with the original Morpheus allowing himself to die, I will always remember the night when I saw that review that has brought me to love graphic novels such as these, call them whatever you may, comics or graphic novels, they are what they are, stories and tales, fun subterfuges of deities, characters, sharing the same space and dilemmas.


Lizz



Scrutinised
Friday, January 19, 2007
3:53 PM
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Had a phone conversation with a friend, told him about how fed up I am being under scrutiny about how I run my life. It's damn the tiring, it's like the only place I can talk about things is on this blog without having ppl trying to tell me what to do. Shhheeesshhh.

Told him about the latest thingy, and he just commented, " Wow, you're quite selling it huh? ", not funny lah joe, when some of the boys found out about it, they laughed and teased me about it. And started dishing out advices, hey peeps, I have a reputation to uphold here ( what reputation?hahahaha ), I say no go, means no go lah. Some said I should try to give the dude a shot, and one of them actually commented that the guy is good looking. Well, he's alright I guess, comes within the territory what with that bod of his. Another laughed like a hyena. Needless to say, if he wakes up from his sleep now, and decides to come back to Malaysia, the boys will teman him. Daymn. Don't come, don't come.

As I've said to my friend over the phone, it ain't going to work, first of all, I feel really preassured already as it is, what with the teasing and stuff, secondly I don't do relationships, thirdly, I just want to be left alone, I don't trust men anymore, they have a knack of taking away things from you, regardless of how you defend it.

Some of the boys reminded me, that it's not going to be the same with the last one, BAH, bullshit! It will be, and I ain't shortchanging myself man. As I've said to my friend over the phone, why should I shortchange myself by being with men, who can't give me what I want, and makes me feel so bloody useless, I am no fucking trophy man. I do have a mind, a pretty smart one I'd like to think. So let me be, with everything, if I want drama I just need to hang out with the boys at OC or Bali, it's freaking everywhere, and I can just be a fucking spectator.

Whatever, I'm outta here.


Lizz



Boat Trip
Thursday, January 18, 2007
11:18 AM
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Boat trip!!!Boat trip!!!Tioman!!! hehehehe, how much more of this good life can I get? One can never get enough of the good living man. I'm practically living in several different states every week. It gets tiring of course commuting everywhere, but hey on weekdays, seeing that I have officially tendered in my resignation, I have nothing to do till next week at work, and it will be a long stretch of holidays before I start work in February, then 3 months of working like a mad person, before the long holidays in Bali again with the boys.

Plus, if everything goes well, hehehehe can you see the dollar or rather the RM signs in my eyes? Ka Ching Ka Ching...y'all. Money, it'll be a good side income project, plus it'll help with promoting the surfing community in Malaysia, of course it would mean that one particular person getting most of the limelight, but wahey it's a joint project. If I play my cards right, I'll be both project manager and production manager.

I'm pretty sure it's a surefire way to work things out financially for everybody involved, the show has everything, the dude ( which believe me, has tons of women throwing themselves at him, except yours truly, for the reason I don't see why women throws themselves at him, but he's an alright guy ), the show, the gimmick. If it works out, dang, travelling to all the exotic places at a lower cost. Money!!!

It's been a pretty weird week and all, I probably costed both of my feet while surfing, it was ridiculous really, though my right foot seem to suffer the most, with 2 open wound gashes on the soles just near the toes. Ouch! So didn't get into the water much, especially when I did, I felt like maybe a gazillion things biting the fleshy bits of the wounds I've gotten. Scary shit I tell you, when the sea water looks like air kopi peng. You can't see jack man.

The weirdest would have to come from this person though, " I am interested in you, it's like I like you at first sight, I know that sounded like a whole load of crap, but I am being very honest, would love to get to know you better ", bro, if you know me as well as the other boys, you would steer clear of me. There's a reason why I'm still single and don't retain relationships. And this one just wouldn't work, because one, I hardly even know you, two, though I find you quite a looker, I just don't feel anything even as a fling, three, I don't play fair, four, we live in two different countries, regardless of how many times you come here and hang out with all of us, it doesn't matter because I don't believe in it. Oh and five, you were right about me having alot of guys around me, and believe me, IF I think having a relationship will remotely destroy this fragile ecosystem I have with them, I will bail. I've a history of doing so, coz I don't like rules or regulations set in a relationship. Plus, the bit about you wanting to be there for me every second is rather suffocating. Now I wonder which one of the boys knows about your infatuation with me...hhhmm.

The good thing about blogging about this is, heheheh, he wouldn't know how I feel about the whole situation, and though I have so far been avoiding flings, yeah it's actually happening, I still like being affectionate to the boys. Goodie, so far my resolution is working. A friend asked why am I not interested, easy, I don't want any trouble man. I hate trouble, I like watching trouble, but I don't want any for myself. I know it's weird, but believe me when I say, I had enough problems of my own to cope, I don't need additional shit, or men going all defensive on me. I realized that during my last, all I can think then was what the hell am I doing? I was falling for him, but I couldn't commit, I know this when I started acting really badly, like really badly, yeah of course I want affection, I am quite an affection whore, though I was very hurt over his lack of affections, I was also thinking how am I supposed to retain my affections with other men. Though he wouldn't mind, but it's only human nature that after awhile a person will mind, especially one with a history of cheating women on him. See logical aye. I'd rather have my male friends showering me with affection than my boyfriend, coz boyfriends have a tendency to take you for granted, bail on you and hurt you.

And they act as if they bloody own you, talking to Steve the other night made me remember the amount of abuse I've gotten from one particular one, the amount being taken for granted from another and how most of them wants me to understand them only. It's embarassing really coz it just shows that I wasn't good in my choices of men, I need them to need me, and now seeing that I realised that, I don't want that anymore. I mean if you can't realised your mistakes after having one slapping you in public a couple of years ago, and the same one taunting you because you either got sick or hurt during work, there is something seriously wrong with you.

Fact is, I don't want men like my dad, yeah he can be abusive, I grew up watching it, where there was one occasion, my dad was so angry, that I saw the first time in my whole life, he hitting my mum, this was a day before my SPM chemistry exams, and in actual fact he wanted to hit me, and she came in between and became collateral damage. Over what you say? Over the fact that I had a fight with him about his family, my aunts. My mum was slapped and had my dad pulling on her necklace, as if he wanted to choke her. Well me being me, of course I punched him. Needless to say, things has been pretty strained between us both ever since, even though we both tried, I can't really forgive him for that. I went to my exams with no emotions nor signs of shit.

At that time and age, the only kind of abuse that registered with me was, physical abuse, I never knew mental abuse till I myself went through it. Basically my self esteem was shattered into pieces and upon me recovering it by working he didn't like it, and I cheated and ever since then I have learnt to play around. Granted that there was that one love, but I'm happy to say that it was good while it lasted, and though it was painful, the break up couldn't have come at a proper timing. So now, any man, that is deemed as stoical and cold, I will give them hell, I no longer want to sell myself short, why should I? Why other women who knows nothing but spend their boyfriends' money and be so dependant on them can get affection and support while taking all of it for granted? It's not fair, but life was never fair, but still it doesn't mean that I should sell myself short. I hope some people would understand this, coz I damn the lazy lah wanna explain. Hahahahah. Don't get me wrong too, being affectionate to the boys doesn't entail in sleeping with them, and not all is so bad between me and my dad, but I have learnt to cope with men like him, they don't deserve much from you. Hahahah.


Lizz



Bengong Mu
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
4:41 PM
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Bengong Bengong, what do you do when weird shit happens? Like a sudden interest in you as a fling from a guy whom you never thought as anything more than a friend, and you rejecting it, and both still OK with talking to each other. Cool. Then another friend whom is a close gal pal's of your's boyfriend being affectionate towards you, but of course nothing else happened. And a sudden interest from a guy who you just maybe spoke to like a couple of hours, whom was very honest and straightforward about wanting to have a shot at seeing you, regardless of the distance between each other. Sighs, it's getting weird. You're drifting further from your girlfriends but you're closer to all your guyfriends. You are seen hanging out with one or the other every other day. You behave like them, talking endlessly about hot women, like Giselle Bundchen, or that Megan brunette chick from Guess 2003/04. Making plans to Bali, booking tickets. With them. You behave like them too, by stating things like " out of a hundred surfers 99 of them plays the field ". That's true.

Yeah, I miss my girlfriends, but well, I guess things happens. It's weird, it's bengong. Then making plans of having another project as side income, which if actually works, would definitely do all of us good. Gawking and touching a certain royalty's not so visible stitches on the face due to a brawl happened during Xmas. Having the Satu Suku Gang want to party at KL. Can see them in action in getting girls. See, I'm thinking like a boy, but truth is I'd rather have men than women. So I think I'm straight, I'm sure I am.

I know I'll miss the monsoon alot once it's over, it'll be back to the drudgery of work. And spending exorbitantly just to travel surf. But that's the fact, swell's not coming in the next 2 weeks I think, then it'll come back for abit then it'll dissappear for abit. Bengong, oh bengong. Oh and I envy this particular person who nailed Dalia Amor. See thinking like a man. Finding out the reason a friend thought I was married, seriously, sorry I didn't nicely inform you about the whole shit that happen. And 35% at Hugo Boss, discount. Yay, coolness.


Lizz



Same Shit, Different Year
Thursday, January 11, 2007
4:06 PM
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" So how was your new year celebration? ", an acquaintance asked.

" Same shit, different year ", I mumbled.

It's true, looking past the glitzy partying, drinking, celebrations, fireworks and other schmuck, has anything changed apart spending a good part of the year laughing at the inadequancies of the government. Really cracks me up, from keris wielding malays, to adopting mat rempits strategies. RRRRiiiIIGGhhhttt, while half of the world is belinguered by all form of socio economic issues, starvation, pollution, psychopath killers, malaysia has decided to spend the taxpayers money sending astronauts into space to play batu seremban, and do teh tarik, and lets not forget instead of helping out SPCA, by adopting animals and volunteering, a plan was drawn out for us normal citizens to adopt the degenerates mat rempits. BRAVO!!! Good for you, now we are the laughing stock of everybody, heck even those bloody predecessors of convicts, the Australians are having a field day laughing about this, STILL.

But, apart from all of that, it has been an amusing 2006 for me. I lost a few friends, I gained a lot more in turn, I found myself, I lost myself in my career, I found a new career, I got sick, still am sick, but that hasn't stopped me from striving. It has been a weird roller coaster ride I would say, I learnt that I lack the tact to be sensitive towards others, too straightforward and blunt, the result: some favourable, while others not so. So one of my resolutions is to try to be more empathic towards other regardless of how miniscule the problem might be to me. Oh yeah I do have resolutions. But I'm not the type to have resolutions just cause it's the new year, but just so happened certain events has made me come up with a few.

So basically, being honest or rather bluntly honest is not really appreciated, telling a person they're annoying is not good, discarding people just cause they bother you is not good, telling a person off once for being rude is not good either, basically whatever that you do, you have to do it with tact I was told. People are not meant to be used and discarded at whim, rather than telling a person off, you should try to sort it out in a less blunt way, albeit, by being quiet or hinting on certain things. So in short I need to be more sensitive, coz as an older soon to be ex authority said, being honest is good, but you have to take note of how the other person feels too, and you are the minority, who can accept people bluntly pointing out your flaws or calls you a bitch to your face, coz you lack that care or conscience that would otherwise make you very human, just coz you lack this, doesn't mean others lack this too. So be tactful.

She is one form of authority I would listen too, knowing that she was during her younger years like me in the present sense, makes her a better guide for me. So I'm taking note of that now. Resolutions I would say, is something you can do for yourself at whatever time, or moment. It can be a life defining moment, or a comical moment, it solely depends on you. For me, well, lets say it's an accumulation of a whole lot of factors.

Old habits die hard, I don't need to say that, the need for adrenaline is always there, if I'm not surfing, I'm ramping the park near my apartment on my freebord, if it's not that, I'm running, if it's not that I'm now trying out parkour or rather free running ( trust me, it's hard, when you try to flip on flat land, and learning it by trial and error by yourself ). Do I have a death wish? Neah, I just want to do everything and experience everything and push myself to the limit. I might be sick, I might be in pain for the most part, but if there's one thing that I've learnt about myself, is I do not back up from troubles or pain that is given or 'bestowed' on me by God. I've learnt to defy what my religion forced me to accept, even if it means, losing myself. Some would say I'm just asking for it, but hey, it gives me the most sense of pleasure to be able to shove it up screaming over the cliff, " Give me your best shot!!!! ", after doing a flip on my freebord with the dull aching throb emitting out of my lungs, painfully. At one point about 2 months and a half ago, I felt like giving up, and I did for awhile. I whinged and cried about it. But no more, a person asked me before if it hurts that much why do I still push myself that hard. Because revenge is sweet when it's served cold, when by right and logic, you're supposedly the underdog, who's a loser and won't be able to beat this, but you did.

So my resolution is to retain my willpower to help me through this, and true to the words " Give me your best shot!! ", He did give me more, and I would graciously take all of this, suck it in, the taste of blood, phlegm and bile no longer bothers me, in fact it actually becomes the catalyst to push myself even more. It's no longer a problem for me. So again, give me your fucking best shot!

My next resolution, hmmm, somebody said I'm quite a good joker, upon saying this,

" Cutting down on flings, it's getting boring, and mundane ", I said.

Needless to say he and another gal pal, laughed like the skanks they are. Sighs. I've got reasons, they're my own, and something a lil kid said to me that kinda lingered around for abit. Plus, it's getting messier too, what with my last fling, wanting a relationship and commitment. Sighs, somehow when you think it's easier if they're older, it somehow doesn't work out that way. So yeah, companionship, seems like a good option, maybe. 'Sides I had too much fun, way too much. I realized that when I could sit across a few of my flings from the past on different occasions and still be on the bestest of terms with them, hanging out with some, being friends with some. It's more than I could expect, for that I'm grateful.

So is there anything else? Of course, balance my work and my need for adrenaline, stop feeling so pissed at people who doesn't understand and just prove myself, work to be a better professional, be a good surfer by surfing for fun and not to be aggro, freebord till my lungs screams in pain, flip, run, leap, turn, cartwheel till I am satisfied with my balance, be more tolerant, tactful, try to achieve mutual understanding, laugh more, read more, but most of all never give up for what I want. And chill. Somehow the song, Remember the Name by Fort Minor comes in mind.

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill,
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will,
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain,
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

Flip, run, leap, turn, slide, bleed, cuts, pain, emotions, hurt, joy, and most of all the high of having adrenaline! Peace out peeps!!! and Happy farking New Year, 2007!!!!


Lizz



When you have a problem with authority, be one by working towards it
Friday, January 05, 2007
1:01 PM
0 comments

" I have a problem with authority ", well, that was what I said when I spoke to my boss. So it's finally ending, my work with AO's Consulting and Systems Integration.

" Better late than never ", well, that was what my boss said to me, upon me stating that I realized that being a jack of all trades as in development is not my thing. I tried and I failed. So what do you do when you failed? You move on in search of something that you can do and is good at. Luckily for me, I kinda figured out what I'm good at.

I don't blame them, anymore than I blame myself, but this is a career move on my end. We don't gel as a team, I don't get along with them, as my boss said, it's prolly due to age differences or maybe upbringing or maybe differences in working style.

1 year plus with a team, that you don't feel you belonged to, is more than enough for me. Granted that they're good at what they do, but I still believe in streamlining work, whereby a programmer does hard coding, a systems analyst comes up with systems integration, the infrastructure person does the IT infrastructure, and so on and so on.

Besides, people changed through time, I have, and I have lost alot zest for work in the past year or so. This new job is a great opportunity for me to climb up higher and have a change of environment. Of course, I'll miss the old company, but I wouldn't be given this kinda opportunity ever so often. A new position, a new company, a new way of living, more cash yeah, more responsibilities, the future somehow looks so bleak for me, even though I have a job waiting for me, it's just weird leaving something that has been my environment for so long, but for the year 2007, I want to be happy and not deluged by working ethics issues. I spent the better of 2006 searching for myself, and I'm still doing that. But I'll be damned if I don't do anything about the rut I put myself in terms of work.

So what are risks if I don't learn to take them again? So the biggest risk of the year, taking the role of authority and making it work. That's how I cope with how I rebel against authority, be one of the authority themselves.


Lizz



Phrase of the day
Thursday, January 04, 2007
12:04 PM
0 comments

Something I've learnt from Brandon Freeborder,

Bulimia. Twice the taste, zero the calories.

Blardy hell, fucking funny.

Speaking of funny, there was once, not too long ago, a mate of mine asked on the kind or types of men that I liked, or get attracted too. Funny is the key word here. I like lame jokes cracked by men, it's not because the jokes are funny, it's mostly because the men who cracks it are not embarrassed for cracking lame ass jokes. Granted I love a good joke too most of the times, but cracking lame ass jokes and making it work till everybody is in peals of laughter, now that's what I call hitting it big.

Of course it doesn't mean I want a prankster or joker at all times, some guys just don't know when to stop being lame, and some guys are just too bloody stoical to even notice if a fucking bird flew overhead and pooped on him. Balance would be good, but that is wishful thinking, though I was lucky to actually stumbled across a few, whom are both funny and serious when needed to be. Being able to hold a decent conversation too is good, there's a certain amount of similaraties for 2 person to be able to talk about stuff. While blogging about this, I do have a guy in mind, of whereby he is a great conversationalist, a really funny man, and knows when to be serious when needed, though he is abit too much of a party animal, but I guess it comes within his territory.

What I noticed about him is that smart women really like hanging out with him, or dating him. I can't really blame them, he is a funny guy, and easy to get along with. To be honest, he's one of those guys which I don't mind having around 24/7, yeah they are guys whom you can have around alot. They make you feel so comfy that everything just falls into place. You don't need to entertain them, and when they're broody and moody, well you can somehow bear with it, coz you know they're the type that bounces back, to say that he is an optimist is by a long shot, he's a realist I would say, though sometimes bordering on pessimism, but somehow it works for him.

I know it's weird to get attracted to a person who cracks lame ass jokes, women finds that detestable, at least most of them do. For me it works, the only men I remembered fondly were men who made me laughed the most, even some of them tore my heart the most too, but somehow its the ones that strikes a balance between funny and serious that lingers on. Had a few, good for me, I'm still chummy with a few of them, though some were just flings, but we're cool with each other. The stoical ones somehow I forget them through time, for the most part actually, I can't even remember how they look like, or was like. Indifference I think is how I described about it.

But it really is up to individuals on what floats their boat. Some like dark and broody men, coz they portray an air of mystery, some like the light hearted men, coz they're easy and simple, some like theirs complicated. I like mine funny and balanced. I don't like broody, let me do all the brooding not him. So here's to a year full surprises and funny men. Of course, of a few additions here and there hopefully by this year, a plasma in the living room, great speakers, a change of decor, more travelling, and of course hanging out with my funny men.


Lizz