Or what is also known as Berserker's Rage. To attain this state of psyche and physic, it was thought that Scandinavian Berserkers imbibed a type of mushroom, to give them the rage and anger to be able to fight it out in war, and of course to totally lose it too.
I realized one thing, it doesn't need mushies, toad skin's excretion, or even alcohol to be at that state. It just takes a man trying to force control over you and do the wrong thing on you to incite all of these. At that moment, you are angry enough to held him by his throat, squeezing, feeling him gasped for air and pushing him down on the floor on his knees while punching his face. It just needs adrenaline, and do you feel pain then? No, you just see red everywhere, and you know you wouldn't stop hasn't it been for your big bro holding you, while you scream " I'll fucking kill you, even if it's the last thing I do ".
And then days later, you just gave up, coz nothing will change what he wanted to do to you. Nothing.
The sun, the beach, the lake, the people and the photo shoot
Not used to travelling with a whole bunch of people, that a wrong call of judgement was done on my end. I call it a stupid mistake, somebody else says it's just a wrong call, no biggie. Riiigghhtt. It has been awhile since I've posted any pics, especially when there are quite a number, but I kinda like holding them to myself. Like me and rainy walk man. This post however, marks a new career path for me, a new beginning, so there are pictures.
Anyways most fav line of the time is " Jelly man, meet offspring, offspring, meet jelly man ", of course you have to have the whole surfer twang to it too. Don't really care if people think I am ditzy as hell, my career says it all.
That's me and my CEO, chief Entertainment Officer, LOL. So again, I had the sun, the beach, with an addition of course, the lake, a nice warm turquoise emerald green body of water hidden in the midst of some mountains, the wakeboarders were friendly and accomodating. So I started wakeboarding there, it was kinda tough at first being so used to surfing and skating, without holding on to any cable, so being binded to a board shorter than my snowboard on water was scary and exciting to say the least. It was painful too on my upper body, the amount of strain and self control I have to assert just to lock the cable to myself.
Having all of the wakeboarders being all nice and more than willing to teach was great, I had like numerous wipe outs before I actually properly took off, and the session was ended in a good note, with a couple of beers and talk about boarding sports.
But the highlight would have to be when I took the bike out on a ride from Patong to Surin beach which was like 20 over km away for the photoshoot, the ride over the mountains by the coast was exhilarating. The view was breathtaking and having your psp playing Jamie Cullum seemed fitting then. Sighs.
The shoot went on great, though I was tired having travelled all over the place, nearly missed my flight.
This pic was taken by my temp photographer, I have always failed to go around places like a tourist doing tourist-y stuff, so having a temp photographer helps. In fact more than one occasion the locals have always commented I don't act and look tourist-y enough. Funny bit was a pic taken when I came off the charter boat, and walking down the pier, the boys gotten ahold of it saying that it was too priceless seeing that I was looking tired and annoyed like a diva supermodel. Hahahaha very funny boys. The beaches were gorgeous just as how I remembered it in the past. But it made me missed Indo more than usual, my mates there, surfing and just chilling at the Balcony. The people from Indo and Thailand have always mistaken me as being one of them, Indo I can understand, but Thailand,,,hhmmm phhiiiuuuwww kapuing!! As Alvin would always say.
Seeing that the group I was with needed a tour guide, a tour guide was given to them, upon going snorkelling, the tour guide looked at me, asking me why am I not joining them, and I just pointed out to the dingy ass boat they were loading into, and he just commented " All you pros, you are so used to big luxurious charter boats or ciggerette speed boats that you won't do this ". I laughed of course, because it was partly true, and I hated small slow boats coz it has always made me sick.
But Phuket also reminded me why I stayed away from it, the sleaziness of it all, it's just too overwhelming, I love other islands, but Phuket as I've said once is one of the oldest whores around. Too old and too sleazy by far, probably that's why I was having so much fun riding my scooter to remote areas everywhere as opposed to staying in Patong. I love Kathu, I love Surin and Kamala. It has a certain quiet factor to it.
Contrary to what others think I'm doing in the pic above, I was happily having a joint actually. The charter boat too was great, I stayed on the top deck most of the time, walking around talking to people. It reminded me of the charter boat trips I had before. This whole trip made me realise one thing, that I am capable of a lot of things, that I miss the ocean more than anything, that the only reason I put in so much at work is to be able to stay and spend more time at one with my friends.
I can never stop all my boarding sports I reckon, it's what makes me alive. I'm glad that I have alot of opportunities to do so this year.
The sun, the beach, the lake, the ocean, the surfing, the wakeboarding, the travelling, the great company, the chances to do so, in short, the highs of my life.
To that person, who had wanted to be a part of my life, this year, I'm sorry, but it's not within me, to have you around constantly. I don't answer to anybody and that includes you. I don't love you, never said I did, and you saying it doesn't change that. I am no novelty item for you, not something for you to brag to your friends about. I'd rather him, who has always treated me as me. I can't have him and he can't have me, but we had that moment, that rainy walk. One that you and I never had and will never do. So I'm sorry again.
Going, Going, almost there
Leaving again, holiday and photoshoot (maybe), just as I was about to settle down from all the travelling be it out of the country or within. Then of course, there is that private function invitation which I have forgotten all about now, have to remind my date about it, and of course another excursion to a private island. Probably will be spending alot of time on that island though, seeing it is free of charge for the most part. Now I need to figure out a way to work this business of ours out. Rather not say anything about it now, for fear of jinxing it.
The other thing I need to figure out, is how am I suppose to disappear for a whole month soon from work. Unpaid leave? so early into the job? Maybe I could go there towards the end of the month, the cali guys would be there by then, and my dear Chicka would be there too. Kill two crowds with one stone? More like several stones.
I have to figure out another way to market the new line too, heheheh, didn't expect that aye? Yeap, I've become quite the business lady now, with two ongoing business projects in the making, hopefully with a new cook show ( in the midst of fundings now ), and of course, with the help of a certain music store, the marketing of certain indie acts.
Everything's been quite slow and tiring, but one doesn't throw all these opportunities without trying right? Don't get me wrong I love my day job, I do, handling and managing minions as I like to call 'em. If all my plans doesn't work, at least I can say I've tried, though two of it look definite.
Time seems to fly when you're having fun at work and off work, well actually time just flies regardless of whether are you having fun or not. It's already March now, wow, in a month's and half I'll be gone again. Waves then will be whetting my appetite, aaaww don't get me wrong, I still surf, hell if I ever stop it. In fact all of these opportunities is due to surfing in some way or another. Cool aye?
No no, we are not talking about that lame ass sms dangdut song. Rather, a text I've gotten out of the blue, especially after what I said about the player being outplayed.
Imagine my surprise when I received the text, and well I figured, well it's just business, nothing more or less, imagine my surprise when I received another one. I wasn't in the mood to answer, neither was I in the mood, when I saw later on while being on the phone, an email has been sent to me by him.
As Alvin said, he just wants acknowledgement that I have received his texts. I figured that I shouldn't bother, it doesn't matter about who he is, or how cool his parents are to me, or how great of a surfer his brah is.
I'm weirded out more than not.